Question:i am in 6th grade and writing a graduation speech i came in to my school in 6th grade so i only have 1 yr experience and im comparing my speech to my first two weeks of gymnastics here is what i hav so far please i need some help on how to direct my speech from there my speech should be atleast 2-3 pages long thnx here it is
I’d like to start my speech today by thanking the superintendent Dr._________, our principals Mr. _____and Mrs. __________, our teachers who got us up here today and our parents, family, and friends who are here on this very special day to watch us Graduate. I remember my first day here at _______ ______, unlike most of my first day wasn’t in kindergarten but it was in 6th grade. I walk into a school that I had gotten lost in 4 times. Someone that I really had no clue who he was walked me to my classroom the first thing that I noticed when I got in there was the weirdest desk I had ever seen, and the weirdest classroom to. It was pretty hard to adjust to this new school the first 2 weeks at first I had no friends nobody I knew and new things all around me. I didn’t think I was going to make it because I was always used to my old school and everybody there. At first I was so confused no social studies no recess after lunch and intervention! What in the world does intervention mean. It was just like my first day at gymnastics the coach said “do a round off” and I said “DO WHAT!” but I learned later on what all these things were and what these words meant to do I thought this would all be to hard for me but it was nothing like I imagined. A round off is basically the same as a cartwhell except you land with both feet at the same time instead of at a different time, and intervention was just going to another classroom and learning more.
It's a good speech for a graduation, aside from some mechanical errors (spelling, puctuation, etc.). The part, "Someone that I really had no clue who he was walked me to my classroom the first thing that I noticed when I got in there was the weirdest desk I had ever seen, and the weirdest classroom to." sounds a little weird. Try fixing it to "someone I didn't really know walked me into a classroom and the first thing I thought about was how different things were going to be here." You transition from intervention to gymnastics quickly, maybe try and tie the two together, and get the two to flow better together. You should end with how after however many weeks, things got better and you adjusted better and such.
I hope this helped, and good luck presenting your speech. :)
these might just be typos or whatever, but I were you, the changes I would make (in capitals) would be:
"unlike most of THE STUDENTS HERE, my first..."
"someone I BARELY KNEW walked me to my classroom..."
Maybe go on to say that the students themselves and the faculty helped you.List some of the problems/hardships that your class as a whole faced (if any), achievements, good times, celebrations, etc- again, for your class as a whole, you want to make sure you incorporate everyone, afterall, it's their graduation, too. Other than that, it looks like you are on the right track. Again, if I were you, I'd try and make sure towards the end of the speech to make everyone excited/inspired about the next steps in your lives: middle school, high school, college, etc... and how no matter how many new situations you enter, all you have to do is open up and let people help you (like you did at your new school and gymnastics) and you'll be well on your way to success. Just a thought, good luck : )
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