5th grader with difficulties!?

Question:My son is a 5th grader and he is in a special day class he's been in Special Ed classes since he has been in 2nd grade he has difficulties all the time doing his homework and understanding it on his own. He will not do his homework or pay attention when my husband or I try to help him he gets all frustrated and very angry and cries and says he doesn't know.
I have tryed a tutoring program and it was really expensive,My son graduates next Monday and he will be getting ready for middle school and regular Ed classes, I just don't want him to think that when he is in sixth grade its more of a harder challenge and he gives up on school! What can I do to help him? Any advise out there or someone that has dealed with the same situation?
Thanks



Answers:
Ever heard the saying "If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting"?

This applies to your situation. You need to find another way to work with your son on his homework issues. You don't say whether you've talked with your child's teachers about the problems you're having. This would be a place to start, if you haven't already talked to the teacher.

I assume that your school district has some kind of counselor available for consultation. If you haven't gone to this person for assistance, then you need to. This is a resource that is available to you at no cost, so by all means avail yourself of it.

If you have consulted the school counselor and have not found the advice offered useful, then I would recommend that you try another counselor or therapist. For a low-cost or ability-to-pay counselor, you might call the community mental health office, if you have such a thing; or ask the school counselor to give you a referal; or call the nearest college or university that offers a graduate or certificate program in counseling or therapy, and ask if they can give you a referral.

You don't say what kind of problem your son has that resulted in his placement in Special Ed. I would suggest you see if there is an advocacy group for kids with his kind of problem-- Examples are groups that assist parents with dyslexic children (http://www.dyslexia-parent.com/local.htm... http://dailystrength.org/support/develop... ), children with ADHD (http://www.adhdsupportcompany.com/defaul... http://www.chadd.org/am/custompages/home... While I'm sure that there are times when you feel like you're the only person in the world who had the problems you've been having, that's unlikely to be true, and support and advocacy groups are great places to find assistance, emotional support, and to learn from the experiences of others.

If there's a local support group for parents with kids in special ed, I would suggest you try attending a couple of meetings to see if this might be helpful. If nothing else, it could help you to know and interact with other parents who are having the same problems.

FWIW, it sounds as if your son is having a frustration reaction and as if he's stressed out. Counterproductive as it may seem, you may want to stop pushing him as hard as you have been. Once you get to the point where he's crying and and upset, no amount of pressure you bring to bear on him is going to help him get over his problems-- you cannot make someone who is emotionally overwrought study or learn effectively.

My brother was dyslexic and was in Special Ed classes. It was really hard for him, and really hard for my parents to understand what his problems and limits were so they didn't push him beyond those limits. They had to accept that there were some subjects he just was not going to excell in, and try to find the things he did do well and work on those areas.

Please go see a counselor or therapist or contact an advocacy group for help. Don't keep doing what you're doing, or you (and your son) will keep getting what you're getting.
I am the Husband and just so everyone knows when it comes to helping with his homework I could be very strict, direct and very detail oriented . I do not like to see a messy homework and I try to force him to think twice about his answers and try to find solutions to his problems on his own most of the time. I will not do his homework and I will not settle for anything less that making him watch TV for only 1 hour everyday and studying 2 or 3 hours.
On your childs IEP there is a section for classroom accommodations. I would suggest that you make an accommodation to accept what ever work he has done whether it is complete or not.

As for helping with homework. Give him a lot of breaks. His homework should not take more than an hour. Talk to his case manager at school. He/she should be able to give you suggestions on what type of learner your son is.

I am a big proponent of inclusion. If your child is included in classes for middle school instead of being pulled out just being with kids without special needs can be helpful. Some times in these smaller classes the child learns how to be helpless.

Try to make homework more active. Don't ask for perfection.
Know what he is capable of at take it from there.

I am a special educator in a elementary school. I teach primarily fourth and fifth grade students. I am an inclusion teacher and have seen wonderful results when including the children in all areas of the regular ed classroom.
Ok before everyone starts giving me thumbs down.just a thought!

Have you had your son tested for ADD (attention deficit disorder)? My daughter had the same issues and I had to push to get a test done on her but it came back that she is ADD. She is on the lowest dose of medication for it and has had fewer problems since diagnosis!

Like I said...just a thought
I have taught special education in a 6th grade classroom for the past 2 years, and understand when you say that he becomes easily frustrated and just gives up. Generally, if he has been in a special education class in elementary school he should continue to receive services in the middle school setting. It may look a little different, but the support should be there. I have found that with my students who are far below grade level the key is to not only get them invested in the learning process, but to let them feel successes. For instance, I 2 of my students who were reading 5 grades below where they should be start the year with 1st grade work. It was really easy for them and they enjoyed the praise I gave them for a job well done. I then gradually increased the difficulty of their work until they were doing a modified version of the same work other students were doing. And now, at the end of the year, both of these students have gained over 1.5 years of growth. (More than they had learned in 5 years of combined education.) Just help you child feel successful and they will do the rest! Good luck!
Hello,
I will assume your child has an IEP. The purpose of that is to address all the areas of weakness your child has in making educational progress. From what you report it does not sound like his IEP is doing that.
If your son has not been tested recently, (this year) I recommend that you request a re-evaluation to identify other disabilities or weakness that may be getting in the way of him making progress.
I would also request an revision IEP meeting. At that meeting make a list of all your concerns. Ask that teachers come with documentation to support how they have been implementing his IEP goals and objectives.
Good luck!
Cpoe

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