A question for all teachers?

Question:how do you handle bullys.. when i was a child they would look the other way.. i really dont see to much inmprovement.. i knew when i was 8 years old i would quit school as soon as i could because of it.. and i did.. went back yrs later for my GED..2 years before i was able to quit everytime i would walk into a class room i would have axitey attacks..i have tried to go back to college but cant seem to do it.. i can how ever do home study and have been.. btw my spell check is not working and my grammer and sentences is off.. cant spell a lick.. yeah i know for those of you who are going to tell me this




Answers:
I am only learning to be a teacher, but I have been working in a school as a para for a year. I do not tolerate bullying of any kind in a classroom if I see it. I was picked on quite a bit as a child, so I kind of have a radar for it. I don't know if this is the right thing to be doing, but I will usually pull the child who is doing the bullying aside and ask them if they enjoy being treated the way they are treating others. I usually work with 5th grade and under, though, so I don't know what to do about kids who have heard the golden rule over and over and still treat people however they want. I know that bullying makes me really mad, though, and I will not let it happen in my classroom, ever. I refuse to ignore it. When I was a child, they always just looked the other way, too. Or in my brother's case, the school officials said he brought it all on himself (so untrue!). This was especially unfair becuase he was diagnosed with mild paranoid schizophrenia and manic depression as a young adult. I wonder if many of these problems didn't come from the excessive torment and bullying he underwent as a child. He also quit school his freshman year and got his GED. Anyway, I am rambling, but I agree with you that this is a major problem that very few people seem to care about.
From the first day of school, I establish that, at our school, we are a "bully free zone." I explain that bullying is NOT tolerated by ANY of the teachers, parapros, custodians, or other staff.

When that first incident happens, I pull the offending student(s) aside and having a one-to-one chat with them, reminding them that this is NOT tolerated in our building, and I make a formal notation in my gradebook that is printed out for all conferences. The class is then told that that's the one and only "warning" they get -- as a class. By zero tolerance, the principal has stated that after that first warning, all bullies will receive referrals -- there is ZERO tolerance. The "nip it in the bud" philosophy. Because we have a lot of gang "stuff" in our community, we have to catch them on it from the get-go. All of us emphasize that, even though it may be another adult who sees it -- or hears about it from another student -- NO adult in our building will put up with it, and any one of us will write the referral.
I start the year by giving my expectations. It makes it easier than throwing rules at them. My students hear from day one that there is Zero Tolerance for bullying.

In the past I have had to get the guidance counselor involved. She came to my classroom and did some lessons on what a bully is and what to do if someone is bullyig you. I will handle the first situation if it is not dangerous in my room with parent contact. From that point on I will refer the student to administration and contact the parents.

I do not tolerate bullying of any kind. I want the school and my classroom to be a safe place for students. The world isn't always a safe place and I want them to know they are safe at school so that learning can take place.

I have never had the opportunity to notice much in the way of bullying in college. Since you are not likely to be in all the same classes as other students. You are not at school all day or night and can choose to switch classes if an opening is available.
I don't know about the colleges in your area but online courses are offered at many colleges. This may be a great way for you to start. You complete your work at home and email it to the professor. There are also courses done by video or satellite. Just some ideas.

I hope that by taking small steps you can get back to college like you want to. You may start with one class at a time, only go at nights, or just go during intersessions (most students are on vacation at this time).

I hope this information helps!
You need to get some help for those anxiety attacks! Have you seen a doctor or a mental health counselor? If not, please do, don't let the bullies win by continuing to cower and be afraid.

Bill Cosby wrote a little book about dealing with bullies. His answer was to calmly look him in the eyes and reply "so?" to the bully without getting upset every time the bully said something nasty. Bullies have low self esteem and by bullying they gain a sense of power that makes them feel better. When the bully can't get you upset, it upsets him and he will eventually quit because he can't get his 'fix' by getting you angry or upset. Bullies can only bother you if you let them--they have extremely low self esteem. Schools are doing a much better job these days of handling bullies.
Where R U ? Here in UK schools have anti-bullying policies now. My wife used to home tutor a boy who went thru exactly what U did. He passed his exams in the end. Can U get a home tutor? Someone who will teach u at home for 1or2 hours a day. If not, contact me & I will see what help I can be.Hope this is of some use.
From day one in my class, the students know that I there is no bullying in my classroom. I have a behavior chart and and it's pretty specific with it's expectations. I like my students to work out their problems with each other. (I work with younger students) But there is a level of consequences for actions with others. Bullying is something that my school administration feels pretty strongly about as do I, so I look out for and try to take care of it as quickly as I can. At back to school night, which is the first opportunity available for me to mingle with the parents I let them know the rules in my classroom and how the administration and I deal with rewards and consequences. It has worked out very well for me as a teacher and a professional.

Do not worry about your writing. I have friends who are wonderful who are not good with spelling, it is not a crime, it is a fact of life. Do not stress yourself, keep working on it, day by day, little by little. I admire that you are taking the time to learn, that is a step in the right direction!
I agree with fridaygal2. Schools today deal with bullying in policy and practice more than in the past. There are two aspects of bullying and one is the victim. Why are they the target? Sometimes they just are not assertive and do not know how to stand up for themself. The one being bullied needs to tell someone and that is why you might consider talking to a counselor or medical professional even now. Also, someone who is being bullied needs a friend, or humor, or some planned response to help them know what to do in case it happens again. I am sorry that teachers looked the other way and it has affected you this way. That was the past. I hope you realize you have the power to make the choice to develop a strategy that will help you overcome this. Kids are mean to other kids sometimes, but your classmates now would be mature just as you are.
I think that the teacher needs to be strong. From the beginning they need to establish their rules and not waver. They need to make sure to do this even with the potential bullies. Sometime the other kids will tell on bullies to try to get them in trouble. (It's rare, but it does happen.) The key word is fair. Be fair to everyone in your class.

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